Marvel Monday: Oh so many things!

Good Monday to you!
In the last week, a whole host of magnificence has occurred and I ignored all of it...let's investigate.


MARVEL NUMBER 1
Last Tuesday, a German journalism student was ejected from a train when it was discovered that he had no ticket. In retaliation for the above, he decided to moon the train's staff. But when he put his ass to the glass of the train's window, his pants got stuck in the train's and he was dragged 200 meters – or, in English, 656.167 feet (or, in sports parlance, more than two football fields!) – before the emergency brake stopped the train. Reuters tells us that the whole rescue effort & sundry caused a 23 train delay, but who cares?


MARVEL NUMBER 2




Caterpillar, makers of the 252B Series 2 Skid Steer Loader seen to the left, is leading the Dow Jones Industrial Average as it soars to new, nearly indescribable heights.
Expectations are high for this week. Numbers, letters, and money are all moving around in rapid succession.


MARVEL NUMBER 3

Speaking of rapid succession, numbers, trading, money, and letters, Philips Electronics is developing a product to keep called THE RATIONALIZER. The Philips Electronics website says this: 

The Rationalizer system consists of two components - the EmoBracelet and the EmoBowl. The bracelet measures the arousal component of the user’s emotion through a galvanic skin response sensor. This arousal level is rendered as a dynamic light pattern on either the EmoBracelet itself or on the EmoBowl. The higher the arousal level, the more intense the dynamic light pattern becomes: the number of elements increases, the speed increases and the color shifts from a soft yellow, via orange, to a deep red. The concept is based on easy to experience advanced sensing and signal processing technology from Philips: it does not require a complicated setup or complex user interface. [emphasis & hyperlinks to images of EmoBracelets mine]

For real, though, this is a mood ring with wifi. It's target market is day traders...day traders who have no idea how to cope with stress...day traders who – despite their unchecked and fluctuating stress levels – will consult a little watchband and a bowl in order to keep them from making emotionally based decisions.
msnbc.com fills in the blanks:

"Women are less emotional investors," [Philips' design arm director Geert Christiaansen] said. "Men have too much attachment to the underlying assets. Women don't have that as much."

Now, I don't know what that means or how it might affect the use of this product, but it is an interesting sentiment – even if it is outstandingly vague and makes no fucking sense.

More marvels to come!

Marvel Monday: A Weekly Day of Amazing. This Week: PRELIMINARIES AND UNDERSEA BLOBS

Hi, all.

Historically, I've been less than reliable when it comes to updating a personal blog, but I'm not terribly interested in elaborating upon the many (and legitimate) reasons why that occurs – at least not right here, not right now.

What I am interested in – what I think, once made aware, everyone will be interested in – is a weekly blog post falling under the heading "Marvel Monday"

You might be asking, why call it Marvel Monday?

Easy: a good friend and font-of-talent, Sam Bosma, draws beauties from the Marvel Comics universe on Mondays. I had been looking for something to spark a weekly post and – since my preferred emotional positioning is one of awe, and dazzlement – have decided that Marvel Monday would be a perfect beginning of the ole' routine.

If this catches, perhaps a series of weekly posts – like another good friend and font-of-talent, John Shortino, has going with his MWF posting schedule – will come from my hands to

your screens (Perhaps What Am I Doing? Wednesdays & Hungry Fridays? Ho hum, ho hum. Gotta let things get going before I get going all ahead of myself.)

Well, then!

ON TO THE POST

For the first Marvel Monday post of all time, I've chosen to expose Giant, Mucus Sea Blobs as more than a simple reality, but rather a problem bordering on MEDITERRANEAN HEALTH THREAT!

Check out the video:

The video – mostly the announcetrix's bemusedly slow speech pattern – makes GIANT MUCUS BLOBS a bit less compelling than this quote:

Serena Fonda Umani, of Italy's University of Trieste, remembers diving about 50 feet (15 meters) down when she got the sensation of a ghost floating over her--"sort of an alien experience."

But even that isn't very interesting.

One day, Professoressa Umani was swimming down, down low to the depths of the sea when she "got the sensation of a ghost floating over her." Creepy, but not so creepy, not so unnatural or disturbing as to be anything but sort of an alien experience?

There are giant zombie-fied balls of mucus floating around in the ocean, smothering fish and potentially infecting Italians, Greeks, and all manner of Speedo-wearing beachgoers with e.coli.

I'm feeling a little marvelous/marvel-filled/marvelful, but not extremely so.

The world – both the natural and the man-made – has much more to offer than balls of mucus in the ocean.

The best I can do is offer a brief list of potential sources of said mucus:

• Poseidon's hay fever
• The wall behind Aquaman's headboard, where he keeps his booger collection

Ho hum. Nothing really can match the haunting effervescence of the photo.

Next Marvel Monday, something more interesting.

Los Angeles Requiem 496

Killing everyone
You were killing everyone
We don't miss you

Oh Baby, You’re Swell as Hell.

Wrists like really narrow PVC piping,
eyes like LED Christmas lights.
Nose like smashed beerbottle,
teeth like lightswitches.

What I wouldn’t do
to touch those hips
like mannequins’ hips…
         I wouldn’t move
         but, I’d maybe
         switch jobs, or
         buy new clothes
         or start gelling
         my hair and buy
         smelly colognes.
Woo, those inflated poolraft hips.
Smile like a negative parabola

is that an pimple?
I, and what?

A Short Treatise On Expediency

Handwriting!
I'm writing with my hands!
Well, just one of my hands.
The other is under the table
cajoled and cavorting in overrusted machinations.

Please do something with me.
Now.

Untitled

Lady
Please
Stop
Making
Those
Noises.
This
Is
A
Train!

Do You?

Remember the candles we burned?
the ones we burned?
the ones we burned the house with?

I can't remember them.

Maybe you do.
Do you?

Look At Me

Look at me.
I'm looking at your teeth.
Those teeth of yours.
So tiny.
I could smush them.
Only need two fingers.

You'll Never Be A Guitar

I tuned my guitar to you.
I know that sounds tubetop romantic
but my guitar sounds
just terrible.

Can't

Singing about his mom!
What's? He crying?
Ha ha! Ha ha!

Laugh with me
goddamn you.

Oh, hey

That's a pretty good looking
tablecloth
You got there. There
on that table. No.
That table.
That one. There.

I meant it to make you smile.
It really is nice, though.
Both of them are,
but I prefer the one.
I prefer the one
with the blue squares

Virgins!

1.
All these virgins here
singing about their sons,

'Son' I says, 'Son! Don't
blow it! Poker face!
Poker face!'
Where did they go?

2.
Also,
I have their sons

Same Songs

Why come songs can be
that same song we heard yesterday
and be like to you today?

And me too.
Why come that?


We and you should stay away
from those kinds.

Mom?

How do you eat breakfast
with all those babies around
eyes trained on your
leaking breasts?

They could win.
If it really came to it.
Really, though.
They would rip you to pieces.

Hey!

I'm going to be posting here on a fairly regular basis, so...get ready.
I copy/pasted the posts from my old blog (which was definitely not updated regularly at all) and will add some poems I wrote this week in a few hours.

I hope you enjoy