In the last week, a whole host of magnificence has occurred and I ignored all of it...let's investigate.
MARVEL NUMBER 1
Last Tuesday, a German journalism student was ejected from a train when it was discovered that he had no ticket. In retaliation for the above, he decided to moon the train's staff. But when he put his ass to the glass of the train's window, his pants got stuck in the train's and he was dragged 200 meters – or, in English, 656.167 feet (or, in sports parlance, more than two football fields!) – before the emergency brake stopped the train. Reuters tells us that the whole rescue effort & sundry caused a 23 train delay, but who cares?
MARVEL NUMBER 2
Caterpillar, makers of the 252B Series 2 Skid Steer Loader seen to the left, is leading the Dow Jones Industrial Average as it soars to new, nearly indescribable heights.
Expectations are high for this week. Numbers, letters, and money are all moving around in rapid succession.
MARVEL NUMBER 3
The Rationalizer system consists of two components - the EmoBracelet and the EmoBowl. The bracelet measures the arousal component of the user’s emotion through a galvanic skin response sensor. This arousal level is rendered as a dynamic light pattern on either the EmoBracelet itself or on the EmoBowl. The higher the arousal level, the more intense the dynamic light pattern becomes: the number of elements increases, the speed increases and the color shifts from a soft yellow, via orange, to a deep red. The concept is based on easy to experience advanced sensing and signal processing technology from Philips: it does not require a complicated setup or complex user interface. [emphasis & hyperlinks to images of EmoBracelets mine]For real, though, this is a mood ring with wifi. It's target market is day traders...day traders who have no idea how to cope with stress...day traders who – despite their unchecked and fluctuating stress levels – will consult a little watchband and a bowl in order to keep them from making emotionally based decisions.
msnbc.com fills in the blanks:
"Women are less emotional investors," [Philips' design arm director Geert Christiaansen] said. "Men have too much attachment to the underlying assets. Women don't have that as much."Now, I don't know what that means or how it might affect the use of this product, but it is an interesting sentiment – even if it is outstandingly vague and makes no fucking sense.
More marvels to come!
